I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
