he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
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