I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
