In the future we'll all be gay
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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