Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
