...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
