Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
