when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
