Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
