playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
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