its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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