sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
