conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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