the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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