Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
