after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
