It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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