I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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