Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
the day after is always just damage control
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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