it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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