literally had 100 drinks last night.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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