I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
