and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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