i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
They have beer where we have blood.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
