do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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