I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
