He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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