is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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