whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Terrible idea I love it
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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