she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
