Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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