That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
