Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
