I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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