so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
