We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
