My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
