i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
