and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
