Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize