nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Two words: nipple clamps
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