Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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