Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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