Even the bartender felt bad for me
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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