I puked a lego.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
