I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
