i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
