I want to stick my p in your. b.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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