Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
The power of my boobs compel you
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
