I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
