They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
