no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Randomize
