I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
