i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
