Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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