Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
