I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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