Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
