I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
