guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
