Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
