fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
