i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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