It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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