Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
you inspire me to be a worse person
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Randomize
