We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
